Welcome to the web's premier vomit humor site!
You drink, you get drunk, you throw up, you pass out, you wake with a hangover and a hell of a mess to clean up... but a great story to tell - if you can remember it!!

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Sick Sleepover(s)
Yogurt puke
Sunday School Spew
Rainbow Puke
Camp Chunder
Cheerio Regurgitation
Chilli Puke
The Eating Contest
Spaghetti 1
Spaghetti 2
Civilized Behaviour
Holy Bag
The Near Miss
Motorcycle Helmet

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Spaghetti 1

I remember a friend telling me the difficulty he had trying to remove spaghetti from his nostrils after throwing up. He had to pull it out with his fingers as continuous retching failed to remove it. He was at a bus stop at the time!

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Spaghetti 2

I can sort of relate to the spaghetti one. I woke up one morning after a night on the piss with a blocked nose. Got some tissues and blew it and a huge noodle came out. Guess I must have spewed some time the night before.

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Civilized Behaviour

No, I didn't vommie at the conference in Lorne, just walked into a window and broke my nose. I actually don't have a good vommie story - every time I have been drunk I have made it to the toilet and spewed in a ladylike fashion.

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Holy Bag

My favourite 'sicky' was being sick in to a Sainsbury's bag while travelling at speed down the A1. The handles make useful hooks which fit around your ears. I have also tried this with a Tesco's bag but they have holes in to prevent little children suffocating.

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A Near Miss

I was standing around in the Coleherne - perilously close, as it turns out, to the toilet door. A young man rushed towards me and a vast wide gush of projectile vomit flew from his mouth horizontally over a distance of about eight feet. It missed me by eighteen inches. I was grateful for that. He didn't make it to the toilet. I walked away, my poise unruffled.

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Motorcycle Helmet

A friend of mine was given a lift home on the back of motorbike once after drinking about 18 pints. He threw up in his crash helmet. Luckily he was near his house when it happened or he might have died. The best bit was getting the helmet off so I'm told.

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The Eating Contest

Once I invited a few friends to sleep at my house. My parents were away at a party for the weekend, so the house was mine.
We had a big house, with seven bathrooms and like, twenty dumpsters in the storage room. I challenged my eight friends to an eating contest. Whoever ate the most food won. (We raided the fridges.)
I had lots of juice and fish, but my friend opened a box of shrimp that had gone bad. Nobody knew that. All of my friends and I finished off the six pound bag of shrimp. Soon we got to rotten eggs, which the date expired, but we were dumb little kids, like 11.

Suddenly, I felt really sick, so I went to relax on the sofa for a while. As I felt the urge to PUKE, I grabbed a nearby wastebasket and threw up twice.

Soon, my friends were in our bathrooms and storage room, throwing up everywhere. After the bathtubs, showers, trash cans, and dumpsters were filled up, all my friends left.

I GOT IN HUGE TROUBLE!!!! I WAS GROUNDED FOR A YEAR!

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The Chilli Puke

One day I was at my friend's house for a sleep over, for dinner, we had like chilli or something and something with hollandaise sauce, it burned my throat and was soo gross that I was about to throw up on the plate. later we had chocolate cake, and felt like I was gonna puke but I didn't say anything. All of a sudden I was about to barf, so I ran to the bathroom and didnít puke, but was almost gonna. Anyways we went to bed soon, and she had a brother who was out until later, but he came back early and I had to meet him. I was turning green, and knew I was gonna hurl right then and there. I held my stomach and started heaving I threw up a little on the carpet, but wasn't done so I ran to the toilet and puked ALOT, I felt so sick, and I was SOO embarrassed that when I walked out I puked again. but somehow I still spent the night. during the night I didn't feel so good and ran to the toilet and puked until I felt like I was going to pass out. I went back to bed. In the morning her mom cooked runny eggs, and guess what?! my friend made me chug a cup of milk and I said in quivery voice, 'I don't feel so good' and went to the trash and burped then threw up.

The chilli burned my throat on the way back up!

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Cheerio Regurgitation

I was in 8th grade one day and I began to feel really sick. So I was in class and the bell rang and I got up to go to my next class. As I entered the hallway I felt my self about to throw up. Unfortunately all of the bathrooms were at the other end of the hallway. I knew it would be so embarrassing blowing chunks in front of the entire school but I kept telling myself "oh well I don't care", I slowly walked to one of the trashcans but felt that I could hold it a little while longer. Mind over matter? Right? No! I continued to walk to my class and there just out of no where it came out. I threw up orangish cheerios on 2 kids in front of me. I ran to the bathroom. It was so embarrassing.

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Camp Chunder

When I was younger I was camping with my family and best friend. Oddly, after a little while we both felt sick. We went to the bathrooms where the whole thing started. Some how we each had our faces in the sink, taking turns, one after another, throwing up. I knew the only way I would be able to stop is if I got out of there. While attempting to make it out of there without vomiting, I failed. There was a trash can right next to the door that I had tried making but it was all over the floor. That is when my friend started laughing hysterically. I didn't understand what was so funny until she pointed at a 1 1/2 - 2 inch piece of hotdog that had come out of me somehow. I have no idea how I could've swallowed it in the first place. So I went to the boy's bathroom just in case I really needed to vomit still or if it was just the smell that kept making me want to projectile. That is when the barfing escapade stopped. The worse part of it all is when we woke up in the morning and checked the bathroom, it was spotless. I have always felt bad for whoever it was that had to clean it up.

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Rainbow Puke

Two years ago when I was in second grade I was taking petition in my home room when this boy sat down in a rocking chair in pain. I said what's the matter? He said I have a miserable stomach ach. Work it off I told him. Then I lightly patted him, walked off. Ten minutes later I herd a gasp and Mrs White and I ran over to see what happened. Orange juice spilled! Oh I said! Then my friend Lexi said that's not orange juice. Then I realised it was VOMIT!!!!!! I screamed. The next event we have is lunch! I said to Lexi that I didn't feel to well! In the middle of eating I hurled all over her. When I went home I threw up all over my mom. It was red yellow pink green and blue - Somehow I had puked a rainbow!

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Australian Yogurt puke

My family once visited my uncle's family in Australia years ago. There was hardly anything to do, so we were often left to just wander the big house on our own. I would just wander the house doing what I wanted and my older brother would play on our cousin's playstation. Any way I opened our aunt's fridge and consumed two ten packs of yogurt pots and three glasses of milk. To top it off I stole a chocolate bar and added that to the churning dairy mass in my stomach.

Later on I started to get that queasy feeling. My stomach started churning rolling over and over like something alive was trying to escape my stomach. But I denied and denied the feeling. As I didn't get sick often I went to my brother and told him how I was feeling. He told me to go to the bathroom and he came with me. We both waited as I stuck my head down the bowl and waited.

I could feel my chocolate, yogurt, milk mixture coming back on me I was scared. I couldn't let myself puke I just wouldn't. I burped instead which didn't make me feel better. However I told my brother that was it and he said ok. We didn't tell any one, we were too naive. My stomach still churned though and I still felt that I was going to puke any second.

We went to bed and my belly was doing dances inside me and it really hurt. Eventually I got that horrible feeling that yogurt was crawling back up my throat. I had only time to say "Ma-ma, BLEURGHHHH!!!!!" I puked all the way down the length of the bed. My chocolate yogurt milk dairy mix had formed a kind of orangey colour with the obvious texture of yogurt.

I hurled into a bag for a while. Then later on in the night I had to puke again and Mum had to rush me to the bathroom where I hurled five more times down the bog. I nearly filled it all the way. I dry heaved most of the next day.

Since though, I have never been put off yogurt and I intend to beat my record of 20 yoghurts in one day!

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The Sunday School Spew

It was a Sunday morning like every other I get up take a shower get dressed and watch TV until it's time to go. But on this particular morning I woke up feeling kind of bad, so I just ignored it and got ready. Well we get about half way to church and after eating a bacon, egg and cheese biscuit my stomach was really starting to hurt so by now it's to late to go back home, so I decide to try to go to sleep. About 10 minutes later we get to church I go in to Sunday school then my stomach REALLY starts hurting and I'm basically in tears my Sunday school teacher calls me out into the hall and asks me what's wrong. I said I need to go to the bathroom and take off at full speed down the hall but lucky for me there's only 2 stalls and someone's in both of them 1 with very strong perfume. So my teacher comes in and asks if I'm okay I tell her I have to puke. The trashcan was nowhere 2 be found so she walks me over to the chair and hugs me and tells me to calm down and to focus on breathing and I will be fine. So she's hugging me and rocking me and I puke all over her. I did this about 3 times. I was embarrassed, but she understood and she took me home because I live in front of her. But being the nice person she is she never mentioned it or got mad.

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Sick Sleepover(s)

Once I slept over my friend's house, I was about 8 or 9. Well we were playing a board game with her brother and she was like "My stomach hurts!" So her brother told her to take a dump, but then she ran out saying it's not that! She was holding her mouth. Well, while she was sick in the bathroom I colored but then my stomach started getting real nauseous. I told her parents I didn't feel good so they helped me into her room with a garbage can by the side of her bed. I burped and burped and heaved into the waste basket but nothing came out, so I decided to lie back down. Then It came up my throat so fast I couldn't make it to the garbage. I remember puking pink and white chunks all over her bed. My mom came and picked me up and she picked me up into the car and I puked all down her back and in her hair! I puked one more time in a box at home. The next day my mom made me lay down, but I was fine eating ice cream! I found out there was a killer virus going around school after I came back. I remember me and her bragging how many times we threw up to the other kids.

Another Pukey Sleepover didn't involve me, but I was there. My friend had said she had the poops at the sleepover. She kept going to the pot. We called her the party pooper. We went out for pizza and she ate a lot! Then we went to the roller skating rink and she ate more. When we got back she was in the bathroom pooping for an hour! Then at around 5am, I just thought my friends were all going to the bathroom. Well while me and another friend were sleeping She woke up the rest of my friends telling them she had to throw up she didn't make it and puked in the kitchen. Then she was on the pot and had to puke again and throwing up into a bowl! All my friends were mad at me and my other friend for not helping! Next time they should wake us up! (To my disliking, lol)

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